Balls Here, Balls There

By Tuuli and Hazel

~~~

“Now, since you are just poor little beginners, we will make one slight change of rules. If you hit your ball into the forest, the rest of us will mercifully let you go get it and start over again.”

The sun was shining so brightly behind Ian McKellen’s head that the rest of the actors had to narrow their eyes to see anything.

“What? You don’t believe in beginner’s luck?” Lijah said over-sweetly.

“What’re you whining about? It’s not like you haven’t played with balls before, is it?” Dominic said behind his back.

Elijah elbowed him, aiming for his stomach but hitting a little lower instead.

“Ugh,” Dominic grunted. He shoved two fingers in Elijah’s sides in revenge, which caused the younger man to shriek, jump and attack Dom. The two of them fell to the ground, cursing at each other and started wrestling.

Ian raised an eyebrow at them. “Shall we?” When Lij and Dom ignored him, he cleared his throat and said, loudly, “Shall we, boys… um, girls?”

“What?” came Lij’s muffled voice from underneath Dom.

Viggo rolled his eyes at the two of them. “You’ll have plenty of time for that later, now let’s go,” he said grimly.

Elijah stuck his head out from beneath Dom just to glare at Viggo. After a couple seconds’ silence he said, “Bet you would like to join us.”

Viggo grabbed Dominic’s arm and pulled, hard, making the younger man curse. “Get *up*!”

“Christ, are you trying to pull my whole arm off?” Dom snapped irritably and moved to get on his knees. “God, I’m coming!”

Lijah started giggling uncontrollably. Dom punched him lightly in the shoulder as he got up.

“Having fun?” Orlando asked from behind Viggo’s back. Did Viggo just hear jealousy in Orli’s voice? Oh, were the two hobbits ignoring their needy elf?

“They seem to be,” Viggo grunted, pointing at Lijah and Dom and turned to follow the others to the first hole. Dominic went with him. Orli took one look at the giggling Elijah who was still lying on the ground, shrugged, and followed them.

~~~

They had definitely something going on, Viggo was sure about it. The way they giggled and laughed and shot each other knowing glances. There was something more behind it, and Viggo was pretty sure he knew what it was; they were fucking. Elijah and Dominic, that was for sure, they were *completely* in love. But Orli… Viggo had a feeling that he was somehow involved. Maybe Orli had walked in on them sometime, or something, or maybe even more than that. Maybe they were having some sort of threesome. A mental picture of Orli as Lij and Dom’s sex toy flashed before his eyes as he watched Dom wrap his arms around Elijah in order to teach him golf.

After that, it was Orli’s turn. Finally. He was giving a lecture about how to swing the club correctly.

“Now, listen up and look closely,” he told others as he walked over to his ball. “Remember to bend your knees,” he advised pompously. “Take a good hold of your club and aim for the…”

“I’d be careful if I were you,” Viggo interrupted. “If you bend your knees any more than that, you’ll fall on your ass.”

Orli raised an eyebrow mischievously and wiggled his ass in the air, keeping his eyes locked with Viggo. Then he took a look at his audience – very bored-looking fellow actors – and continued, “Then, do like this.” He swung his club and hit the ball making it fly high. No one took their eyes off the ball as it landed in the completely wrong direction: in the middle of the woods. Orli’s mouth opened in shock like a fish’s while everyone else tried desperately to hold their laughter. Except for Viggo, who burst out laughing.

Orli glared at him furiously and stated calmly, “That ball had a mind of its own. It must suffer from stage fright. It’ll come back when it’s ready.”

Elijah – who had just recovered from his first attack of giggles – fell down again, choking on his laughter, and earned another glare from Orlando.

“I take it as you’re not going after your ball,” Ian said calmly and then smiled politely at Dom, “You’re next.”

~~~

“C’mon, Orli, try to hit it this time,” Viggo said, voice full of frustration. “We’re the only ones left for crying out loud. Besides, you’re holding the club all wrong.”

“And what are you, an expert?”

“Well, better than you.”

Orli hadn’t been expecting the arms that wrapped around him. He merely raised a questioning eyebrow without trying to struggle. “What’re you doing?”

“I’m teaching you how to swing the club,” Viggo declared flatly.

Orli was bored enough to let the older man do whatever he liked. Unenthusiastically, he watched as Viggo aimed for the correct spot and hit the ball in one swift movement, arms still around Orli.

It landed in the forest.

Orli was shaking with muffled laughter as Viggo let go of him. The older man stated calmly, “I assume that ball was friends with the first one.”

It took Orli a moment to figure out exactly what Viggo was referring to. With an evil smirk he said, “Whatever. It’s your turn now.”

“Aren’t you going to go after that ball?” the older man asked.

“Why? It was you who hit it there!” Orli answered, clearly unable to wipe the smirk off his face.

Viggo grunted an inarticulate response and set his ball down in its place. He cleared his throat awkwardly, trying to get all thought of the younger man out of his head and concentrate on swinging his club. He was just hitting his ball, when Orli distracted him by an intentional sneeze.

Viggo’s ball landed in the forest.

Orli tried desperately to hold his laughter as he took a few steps forward and patted Viggo on the shoulder. “Well done, mate, well done,” he managed to say before he had to turn away to keep the older man from seeing his delighted smirk.

Viggo shot him a glare. Then, unceremoniously he took off and started towards the forest.

“Viggo? Where’re you going? Viggo!” Orli shouted, startled. “Going after your ball? Wait for me!” He was by Viggo’s side in a nanosecond.

“I thought you didn’t care where your balls where,” Viggo grunted.

“What are you *talking* about? They were a *dollar* each!!” said Orli in mock astonishment. and missed the way the corner’s of Viggo’s mouth briefly turned slightly upwards. “ Besides, I have the right to change my mind, don’t I?”

~~~

“Ewww!”

“What?”

“There’s *mud* in here. Oh, my new shoes!”

Viggo glanced behind him with a raised eyebrow just to witness Orlando do ballerina-like movements to keep his new shoes from getting dirty.

“You’re an elf. Elves don’t get dirty, remember?” he said, leaning on a tree with an amused expression on his face.

When Orli finally managed to make his way through the wet spot he asked, “Viggo, tell me, if we find a ball, how do we know if it’s yours or mine?” looking actually worried.

Viggo kept a straight face and replied flatly, “Mine has Tiger Wood’s signature on it.”

“Oooooh, you know him? How?”

“Met him in a bar once. He showed me his collection of balls and gave me one.” With apparent lack of enthusiasm to continue the conversation Viggo spread his arms and pointed to opposite directions. “Okay, you go that way, I’ll go this way.”

Orlando took a pointed look at Viggo’s spread arms and with a little-boy-lost expression on his face he lifted his own arms and asked, “Hug?”

Viggo dropped his arms and rolled his eyes. He stepped closer to Orli with a menacing look and gave him a not-too-gentle push. “*You* go *that* way, and *I’ll* go *this* way,” he repeated before turning away. He started to walk down the path he had chosen for himself, hearing Orli hesitantly start his own journey behind his back.

After thirty seconds’ silence Viggo heard an amusing splashing noise, accompanied by Orli’s high-pitched scream, “Ouch!!” And then loud swearing. “Shit! My new clothes! I HATE MUD!”

This time Viggo didn’t have to hold back his laughter. He continued onwards, trying hard to keep the mental images of a mud-covered Orlando out of his head. He kept on listening to Orli’s curses as he walked on, but soon he heard something even more interesting ahead of him. Some kind of moaning… Viggo sneaked closer. That giggle sounded way too familiar… He peeked behind a tree.

“That *tickles*!” Elijah giggled good-naturedly.

“How about *this*, then?” Dominic asked mischievously, and Lijah’s giggling turned into moaning.

Viggo used the tip of his tongue to moisten his dry lips. He had a feeling he was *not* supposed to be seeing this. He didn’t *want* to see this. Elijah was *his*.

“Jeez, I didn’t just say that,” he whispered to himself in disbelief. He didn’t really *want* Elijah, did he? Where had that thought come from?

“How about Viggo and Orli, then?” Viggo heard Elijah say and his head snapped back up. What?

“Jeez, Lij, are you sure you want to talk about them right *now*?” Dom asked, exasperated, and continued kissing his way down Lijah’s chest. Elijah leaned back on the tree and tangled his hands in Dom’s hair.

“Why not now? As far as we know, they could be in the same situation right now,” Elijah protested, whimpering as Dom found an especially sensitive spot.

“Well, yeah, Orli wouldn’t mind,” Dom agreed, his voice muffled.

“Yeah, hasn’t he been in love with Viggo like, forever?” Elijah continued annoyingly. Dom rolled his eyes, straightened up and kissed him roughly. Viggo saw his hand disappear in Elijah’s pants and smirked to himself. Okay, so Dom had found an effective way to shut him up.

As they concentrated on each other, Viggo turned to leave. Orli, in love with him? Or had it just been Dom and Lijah joking once again? Had they known Viggo was there? He doubted it; they wouldn’t have been that explicit if they had known about him.

Well, apparently he had been wrong. Orli, Dom and Elijah weren’t having some sort of threesome. When he thought about it, he had to admit that Orli had been pretty keen on hanging around with him lately.

He took a step forward – but the ground wasn’t stable. He found himself staring up at the blue sky.

“Shiiiit,” he mumbled petulantly. His head hurt. He had fucking *slipped*. To hell with his Ranger grace.

He got up and searched for whatever had made him slip. There were two formerly white, nowadays muddy golf balls. He picked them up for a closer look, still muttering curses. Shit, they were both Orli’s. He held Orli’s balls in his hand.

Yeah, righ… Well, actually… not so far-fetched.

Viggo smirked.

He returned to the place where he and Orli had split up to find the younger man sitting on a rock, looking like he was deep in thought.

“That’s mine,” Viggo said when he saw a small white object in Orlando’s hand.

Orli looked up when he heard him speak. He got up from his rock and gave Viggo the ball. With a bemused expression he looked at Viggo’s hand.

“What’s *that*?”

“I found your balls,” Viggo said flatly, holding out a handful of mud.

“Er… That’s my balls? Keep ’em.”

After a short silence Viggo asked, “So what do you want to do now? Go out on the field again?”

“And lose my balls again? No thanks,” Orli responded, shrugging. “What would you like to do?”

Orli turned around and had just enough time to register the predatory look on Viggo’s face before he was pushed down and pinned on the ground by a warm body.

-loppu-

Back to The Round Corners

To the next part